Have you ever taken too much work alone because you couldn't reject an unreasonable request from a team member during your school life? Or have you ever unconditionally apologized to others even if it's not your fault to avoid the fear of conflict? Good Boy Syndrome is a psychological complex that repeats words and actions that suppress your inner desires or wishes in order to hear the response of a 'good boy' from others. It is a symptom created to adapt to a moment that stimulates fear of abandonment, a subjective emotional state of a person who has a feeling that he or she is left alone or abandoned. Even in adulthood, people with these symptoms cannot honestly express their feelings, and suppress their desires and wishes to remain as a good person to others.

 People with Good Boy Syndrome show the following behavior. First of all, even if you don't feel good, you don't reveal your feelings on the outside and always try to show your bright and cheerful appearance to others. If you reveal your negative feelings when you are angry or irritated, you are worried that you will be seen as a bad person or rude person. So, as if you are wearing a mask, you hide your negative feelings as much as possible. Second, you can't say what you want to say well. Even if you have an opposing opinion, you can't express your opinion because you're worried that it might look bad as an opposing opinion. Because of this, you can't reject other's requests and make it appear that you don't like them. Rather, you postpone your work to solve other's work first, and you unconditionally follow the other's opinion to respect others. Third, you apologize for what you did not do wrong. You first apologize and ask for forgiveness in order to avoid conflict with others. Finally, you try too hard to obey the rules. You can't stand not to keep your promise or follow orders. These syndromes are often caused by the education of parents who think that their children are good children when they act in accordance with parents' expectations. Children who grow up in this environment grow up suppressing emotions. In addition, strict family education, lack of dialogue, and a coercive family atmosphere suppress the child and his/her inner needs. These cause Good Boy Syndrome.

 When it comes to Good Boy Syndrome, there is always an indispensable word, self-esteem. If your self-esteem is low, are you a Good Boy Syndrome? Self-esteem is a feeling of respect and value for yourself. It refers to thinking that you are worthy of accomplishing something. People with high self-esteem believe that they can overcome difficult tasks without being swayed away. They are also less likely to be swayed by others' eyes or words. However, people with low self-esteem pay too much attention to the reputation of others and blame them on their emotional personality, which makes them easily sad or moved by anything. Emotional instability is noticeable, and you quickly become restless and your mind is shaken. This is also associated with the Good Boy Syndrome, when trying to survive in an unfriendly moment, it has become a habit not to reveal negative feelings toward external objects. In this case, the level of achievement may be much lower than your ability.

1. When making decisions, it is mainly based on other person's opinion.

2. I feel sorry if I don't do other's favor properly.

3. I think everyone is trustworthy.

4. I don't show my bad feelings on the outside.

5. I easily get hurt in mind.

6. If the other person gets angry, I can't deal with it.

7. I'm sensitive.

8. I'm frustrated that I can't say anything.

9. I always feel like I'm losing. 

▶ If you have more than five, you should suspect Good Boy Syndrome. (Source from EBS)

 Your mindset is the most important thing to overcome the Good Boy Syndrome. First of all, you need to know your condition. After that, first, you should practice understanding and acknowledging your needs and opinions. You need to set healthy boundaries that accept the needs of others but do not ignore your own needs. Second, you must practice expressing your opinion appropriately and 'rejecting.' Because of the nature of not being able to reject other's requests, you should constantly repeat the practice of saying no. When you say no, you need to say with a gentle expression rather than a firm tone from the beginning. When you receive an unexpected request, you need to buy time and then find a more polite way to say no. Even when you say no, don't treat yourself like you're guilty, but think about your environment first. Third, you must strive to improve your self-esteem. If you recognize that you are precious, you will be able to live a life that protects you from others. There are people who only care about others and don't cherish themselves. It is recommended to know your condition accurately and consult an expert if you suspect Good Boy Syndrome.

78th Reporter • KIM DA ON • daonda0904@naver.com

80th Reporter • CHOI JUN HONG • chloi0058@naver.com